She as the “love of my life.” Freddie left Mary the bulk of his estate and his beloved home at One Garden Lodge, West Kensington. Yet, they split up in 1976, decades before Freddie’s untimely death in 1991. During those 15 years, Freddie had numerous relationships and many lovers, including Jim Hutton. So, why did he never find the love he had with Mary again? The video above was from a tour in 1986, with Mary still be Freddie’s side, even though she had a husband and children by then. Why did he leave so much to her and not someone else? The star explained in his own powerful words.
Famously Freddie said of Mary: “I might have all the problems in the world but I have Mary and that gets me through… I still see her every day and I am as fond of her now as I have ever been. I’ll love her until I draw my last breath.”
But it wasn’t just the purity of their love for each other, it was a matter of trust. Apart from Mary, Freddie never allowed anyone to get that close to him, after being hurt too many times.
Freddie said; “I’ve been let down so many times, I just don’t trust anyone now… Apart from Mary, I don’t think I have any real friends.”
And when it came to new lovers and loves, Freddie had a very bleak view of why anyone wanted to be with him.
Freddie said; “People always go for my so-called stage persona. No-one loves the real me. Inside they’re all in love with my fame and stardom… You can’t tell whether they want you or Freddie Mercury the pop star.. and he’s someone quite different!”
Of course, Freddie also recognised that he was also partly responsible.
“No-one wants to share their life with me. It’s like old Hollywood stories where those wonderful actresses couldn’t carry on a relationship because their careers came first.
“I wouldn’t sacrifice my career if a partner wanted me to. It’s my career that keeps me going. What else would I do? Dig weeds, get fat and be beautifully in love? No, I’d like to remain as successful as I am, write beautiful songs and be in love – not that it’s worked out until now.”
Freddie said; “I’ve been let down so many times. I just don’t trust anyone now… I find it harder and harder to trust people. I sometimes think, ‘Oh, this person’s going to be ok’ and then I come a cropper. To be honest, I can only name one dear person who I can actually open up to and feel really happy with.”
That was Mary, of course.
Perhaps, part of the strength of Freddie’s relationship with Mary is that it was formed before he was famous. But then he never spoke in the same way of anyone else he knew in the first 25 years of his life, or for the rest of it, for that matter.
ALL QUOTES FROM FREDDIE MERCURY: A LIFE IN HIS OWN WORDS